he (the Enemy) says, He (The Father) says – The Battlefield of The Mind

The Enemy says, The Father says

The enemy wants to destroy God’s children. he certainly can play tricks with the mind. And I can stupidly fall for them. But- Every bad thing that can happen He turns it into some thing beautiful

When he says “Look, you have no friends. Nobody cares for your company. Look at everyone around you. They do things with each other but not you. Nobody really likes you”

When he says “You are alone.”

When he says “You deserve every bad thing that comes your way.”

When he says “You will never amount to anything of importance, you are to remain in mediocrity.”

When he says “You are a failure, you might as well just stop trying.”

When he says “You are nothing. You have no value.”

When he says “You deserve to be unappreciated, you are no better than a piece of furniture.”

When he says “Nobody loves you.”

I have come to the conclusion that I can change a lot about my life just by the way I choose to react to things. When the Adversary says things, or other people say things, or even when I say things to myself, I have a choice of how I will react to them. I can remain hurt and carry it with me. While I want to live the good and healthy life that my Father in Heaven wants me to, it can become like trying to tread water while hanging onto a cinderblock. Mentally worn out I eventually give up and allow myself to sink into depression. This ends up hurting more than just myself. By keeping it I think I can come up with a solution, why trust anyone else with these problems?

“You do have friends and family, there are people that love you, there are people who like your company, it’s not important to be loved by everyone. The important thing is that you are loved by Me. I will spend time with you no matter what. You are not alone. You don’t deserve every bad thing that happens in your life. Those bad things are a result of sin. But don’t worry, one day you will be with me in a place where there is no sin. You are important. If you remain in My Will you will become extraordinary. You are not a failure, keep trying with My help, please. But remember that you can do nothing apart from Me. I value you. You are not nothing. I do not make trash. I love you.”

Read Full Post »

Take My Hand.

Needless to say there are only so many ways to prepare for adult life, without actually doing it.
You can get all of the schooling, and knowledge your brain can hold, but there comes the time were you just have to live.
You have all of these dreams and expectations, of your dream life, dream house and whatnot…it’s “PERFECT!” right?
When I got married of course there was an adjustment period. But after three years of being Mrs. Aaron Cook life now is not what I pictured it would be like three years ago when I walked down the aisle towards my love while wearing probably the most beautiful dress in the universe.
I thought I would be a mommy by now, be healthier, be a better homemaker, have a bigger house with more land to do all of the stuff we want to…
Life isn’t what I thought it was going to be, and you know what…that’s great! I feel like my life is much richer from the lessons I have learned and am still learning! I have a beautiful marriage to the greatest man, I am very blessed in that area to be sure. If I just keep my eyes on God everything will turn according to His Will.

Read Full Post »

Only Child.

Reflections On Being a Spiritual “Only Child”

While I was sitting in church today, Bethany, the pastor’s oldest daughter was sitting besides me. During his greeting and opening I thought of how it must be to have a father figure such as a pastor. Then I began to think about how I  had many spiritual parents and families at Fraser Road. I didn’t really have a designated family like some would. I would go family to family and spend time with all of them. The Hine’s, to the Roy’s, to the Pawlicki’s, to the Wedding’s, the Benner’s, the Christian’s, The Youth Group and so on. I found my way into the structure whether it was looking after and keeping children in check, being an “only child”, or mixing in with the others my age.

Many, many of my Sundays were spent going to the park, playing board games, playing tennis, chasing kids, playing tag, swinging, talking, having Bible study.

Even though I had a lot of these spiritual step-families I had a lot of my own “looking after” myself to do. What I wore, watched, participated in. How much I read in my Bible, my prayer life. Sometimes I was completely on my own. Having this status was a blessing and a curse.

You were free and you were your ‘own’ but you were free and you were your ‘own’.

Reflecting on this, I will pass on to my children how I appreciated the love and welcoming arms of these families, and how we should treat newcomers, new believers, and spiritual “orphans”(for lack of better words).  We should always be willing to listen, teach, correct, guide, restore, and love whenever, however to whomever we can.

Read Full Post »

The Third Decade.

The upcoming weeks will be marking my fifth year as a child of the Lord’s. There are very few things in this life that we can be certain of. When I was fifteen years old I would have never guessed that by the age of twenty I would be where I am today sitting in this chair, in my in-law’s school room, at their house, a few miles away from my new house in Homer Township.

So what about the next five? What will my husband and I be doing when I reach twenty-five? How many children will I have? Will I have children? Will we still be in the house we live in now? What challenges and heartaches will we face? Would Jesus have already come to take us all Home? Will somebody have found a good use for dryer lint? These questions can keep one talking for hours or make one think for a few days (depending on what your personality is). As for me I plan on putting my plans in the Lord’s Hands just like I have been doing since that January prayer meeting, bowed at the alter, in my Jack Skellington shirt and buckle pants.

Read Full Post »

Two days.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is putting it in a fruit salad.

Check, check and check. Everything is done, now it can just happen. Aaron and I are more in love than ever, and we are every excited.

If there is one thing that I enjoy it is reminiscing alone, I walked around my old youth room a couple of times tonight. I recalled various events that had happened in that very room, some happy, some sad. Thousands of tears were shed in joy and in grief. Many, many prayers lifted up. Lessons were learned. Friendships were made, some were injured and one was broken. There are some new names on the walls and mine was painted over. I moved on. I am starting a new phase in life and I would not change anything that has happened to me in my life up to this point.

In two days, I will have a new last name, new husband, new life, new family, new house, the list goes on. PURE JOY. 

Trust me when I say that this year has been a great year of many changes and I can think of twelve people who would whole-heartedly agree with me.

2010 will go down in my history as a turning point. The turn hasn’t been fully made yet, I can stand at the hinge and savor the very feeling that I go back to this time of year.

I have acquired a new appreciation for the Fall season. I associate the fall with the times I had with an old friend. The feeling leaves me with a longing. And I feel nostalgic and empty. I try to explain it but I don’t even understand it.  It is exhilerating. A feeling of how horrible everything once was, assurance that it will be okay shortly and a sense of accomplishment when I look at the fact that I looked to God and not anything lower. Despite the awkwardness of the feeling, I like it when it comes around and when I can rest in it.

Aaron is and will remain all I have ever wanted, and then some, in a life partner. Every now and then we remind each other how much fun we are going to have together, and through everything even when it is not fun we will do together, and in 50 years how much closer we are going to be to God and to each other, how much more we are going to understand each other, the way God designed it. Secondary to Jesus, he is the best thing that has even happened to me.

I knew it, and I tried my best to hide it (he really wasn’t shy about his feelings). I had no person fooled.

Reflective moods are best at 3 A.M.

Read Full Post »

From the Heart: Because that is how I Live My Life.

Life currently is like a big stove. My ranges are full. My oven is occupied.

My house is simmering in a sturdy iron skillet. It is a dish that needs to be added to and added to, we keep getting more and more ingredients to make it just right.

School and work I put in random pots, they are dishes that can burn easily if not attended to, stirring, the correct utensils and temperature control is important.

My wedding is baking in my prettiest dish. It is similar to a big mystery casserole, everything is in it, dresses, appointments, emotions, deadlines, supplies, the layers mixed in and meshing together.

At times the kitchen gets pretty warm, other times it is smooth sailing. I do get breaks though, but it is never far from my mind. Hopefully, God can teach me somethings so I can help the next bride when she starts coming up with crazy illustrations like this!

Read Full Post »

What is love?

Simply amazing. I find it amazing how people can turn their back on convictions that they followed. How they turn their back on the Savior. How they do it time and time again. You think they finally got it, but then they just turn back to a world which hates them, but they in turn love it.

Lord, help us in this world that offers comfort for only a season. Help those who are blind to the fact that it is in fact only a season

Sin will take you further than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and make you pay more than you want to pay.

It’s like smut, it leaves an ugly mark. But God gave to us a way you can rid yourself of it. John 3:16. Culture bombards us with what they tells us about love. God takes us to the cross and says “This is LOVE.”

Read Full Post »

Uncomfortable and Trendy.

My take on the Duggars:

I really like watching the Duggar Family, when I have the time.  I enjoy watching a family who really loves God and loves each other.

But there is something I have noticed in the way that they dress now.

Call me weird, but it kind of is dissapointing. The girls are wearing ‘tighter’ clothes and going more for what is ‘in’. One of the daughters (I know her name I just won’t mention it) wore a flowy knee length skirt on a windy day. I was surprised. I could see her short leggings.

I understand styles and preferences change. But the longer this family is filmed the more their clothing has changed. I don’t know that family’s situation but it seems to me like they are changing just because they are on television.

I just got finished with looking at a headcovering website. They have discontinued a lot of their “more extensive” coverings and are selling a lot more headbands now. If you ask me, a headband is not a covering. The headbands they are selling, although they are pretty , they do not fall under the “covering” catogory in my book.

Why do I feel this way?

Maybe it is because I struggled with the issue of clothing so much in the past. I was more focused on the trendy and eye-poping then covering myself up.

When I was loosing my weight, I will admit, I looked good, and I knew it, so the “body complimenting” jeans came back. I wore them for those reasons. Not to cover up my body. But to show it off.

Now I know that is not the main goal of a lot of my friends who do in fact wear jeans. But as I stated above I had a secretive goal (or lack thereof) to show my weightloss off to MY glory. I was lying about the nature of God and misrepresenting what a follower of Christ is.

When I began wearing skirts and dresses again, I purchased a very nice jean dress. I wore it to church. I knew my purchase was a mistake when  one of the older ladies complimented me by saying, “Oh, that shows off your figure so well!” Upon cleaning out my closet the dress promptly went back into a bag to be donated to the same place where I got it from. The dress was modest, but not my correct size.

I guess you could call this an ”as for me…” type of issue. If there is anyone out there who is considering that type of lifestyle change, don’t knock it until you try it but, don’t take my word for it. Please don’t. Ask God. He won’t turn you away for asking.

It is what I went through and what I am still going through. I still really enjoy clothing, which I think is good. Although, Christians should not be CONSUMED with fashion, it isn’t wrong to want to look nice.

Cruising through the different modesty sites I love looking at the different colors, patterns, styles.

But how much is really too much?

Read Full Post »

Then and Now.

Then I thought I would have

a nose piercing

Then I thought I would have at least one tattoo by now

Then I thought I would have gone to

the casino a couple of times

Then I thought I would be so independant that I would not  need ANYBODY.

Now I have taken out my

“modest” six earrings,

and I no longer wear jewelry

Now I detest even the smallest tattoo no matter what it’s meaning, because of the origin of that practice

Now, I have not set foot in a casino, I won’t even buy a lotto ticket

Now, I know I am not good enough, I need Him.

Read Full Post »

My Jesus.

Which Jesus do you follow? Which Jesus do you serve?

If Ephesians says to imitate Christ, why do you look so much like the world?

Who is this that you follow?

This picture of the American Dream?

If Jesus was here would walk right by on the other side?

Or would you worship at His Holy Feet?

Pretty blue eyes, pretty brown hair and a clear complexion.

Is how you see Him as He dies for your sins, sometimes I doubt we would recognize Him.

Not a poster child for American prosperity, You see I’m tired of living for success and popularity.

You said to live like You to love like You.

I want to be like my Jesus.

Read Full Post »