Who do you want to be associated with?
My in-laws and I are often asked if we are Amish or Mennonite. I really can’t speak for my in-laws as to how they answer but as for me, depending on who the person is, whether they be a total stranger or a fellow Christian is how I explain it. I first say I am a Christian. I may go on to mention 1st Corinthians 11, Brethren in Christ, conservative clothing et cetera. Now I’ve been told really strange things like “You look like a pirate.” and “Is that a yarmulke?” The first I ignored, the latter I raised my eyebrow and stated “No.”
I thought it was common knowledge that Jewish men wear yarmulkes,
but I guess it isn’t so well-known.
When I go to Christian conferences and the like, it is really heart breaking to see how the girls (not to mention guys) are dressing a behaving. Girls in pants that show the shape and size of their butts, (Yes, I did just type that, it’s not like everyone does have one.), scoop neckline, v-neckline, cleavage, heavy jewelry, heavy make-up. This really leaves no imagination as to how that person looks like when they are naked and they are so slathered up, it really makes me wonder what they want to be associated with.
Last year I went to a college retreat/seminar up north with the college ministry I belonged to. One of the girls I was rooming with mentioned that she had a pair of red leather pants but they were “questionable”. Really? I could not believe what I was hearing. I question and still continue to question this person’s motives in the clothing department and if she knows what she is doing to the men around her.
This isn’t skirts vs. pants, this is more serious.
Without getting into too much detail men think different from we women. And even though men are responsible for where they lay their eyes, can’t we help them not even come close to that temptation? I mean even just the tiniest bit? We don’t have to wear curtains, all we need to do is cover up, not eventuate or show the undersides of our curves! It is so inconsiderate and selfish to flaunt ourselves with the attitude of “You are responsible for where you put your eyes, don’t you dare look at me, even though I am dressed like a loose woman.” Or will we let our stubborn, attention-seeking will dominate how we cover (more like uncover) our bodies.
You may disregard my post as legalistic, but think about this the next time you get dressed. Who do you want to be associated with?
Refreshingly honest post, Lauren, and you’re saying things that we all need to be reminded of. Sadly, many of us don’t always think about how the way we dress may affect others. My daughter and husband went to a father-daughter retreat recently, and one of the speakers pointed out that when a young lady gets dressed each morning, it should be an act of worship. It really made her look hard at her wardrobe, and ask herself, “Does everything in my closet bring glory to God?” She did a post on our blog about a book that addresses this issue, called “Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America.” Interestingly, this has been the most-read post of any we’ve written on our blog.
When we lived in your town, our minister preached very candidly about this issue, and he placed the responsibility squarely upon the shoulders of the fathers. He believed they were the ones who needed to train and hold their daughters accountable for how they dressed. That same message was preached at the aforementioned retreat, and it is very sound advice. Perhaps what is lacking in our world today is that fatherly oversight that is so critical in the development of a young lady’s character and habits.
~ Betsy
I would like to get my hands on that book sometime! It’s on my birthday wishlist!
Yes, completely agree that women need to dress modestly. That being said, I think there’s also a way to dress ‘pretty’ and be modest. When I was still at home, it felt like the uglier I dressed the more pretty I was supposed to be. I couldn’t dress modestly with store bought clothes. That’s really not true. It can be harder to do, but you don’t have to wear homemade clothes to be modest. Can you tell I hate sewing?! There’s a lot you can do with layering. Sometimes I can find tops in the guys department because of the modest neckline. FYI, there is a size difference!! If you buy men’s tank tops the neckline is also higher making them nice to layer under girl shirts that have scoop neck or such.
Isn’t that crazy with the high vs. low collars? I do agree it is hard with store bought clothing. So, that is why I kind of gave up on the store-bought part. Plus, I really don’t have the money. I don’t believe we need to dress “ugly” at all either. And hey if you hate sewing, finding other ways to be creative is great!
One other comment on this, ladies…I agree with Judith that modest doesn’t need to mean unattractive. In fact, as daughters of the King, I believe we bring glory to Him when we dress in a manner befitting royalty! That means looking modest, feminine, AND attractive.:-) This will play out differently for different people. For us, we found that the Goodwill stores in our area were a treasure trove of really cute, modest, and inexpensive clothing for our girls! They have found such attractive tops and skirts there–and it’s good-quality merchandise, with labels like Lands End and Talbots. There are at least 3 stores here that we know of, and some have cuter stuff than others, so it’s worth shopping around a little. At $2-3 per clothing item…well, it just doesn’t get better than that for us!
For us, “attractive” also meant that our clothes should always be clean, pressed, and mended if necessary. No sloppy, faded T-shirts…no threads dangling or buttons hanging loose…and what good is it if a skirt is long and modest, but has stains on it, or is covered in wrinkles? This has meant that all the girls have learned to iron their clothing…and what a blessing that has been to a busy mother!
Here’s a bit of irony for you…I used to purchase some clothing for the girls in the boy’s department–again, for modesty’s sake–until it hit me that I was literally dressing them in men’s clothing (which the Bible speaks against)! So I had to rethink my strategy, and was so happy when Goodwill came to the rescue!:-)
Sorry this comment got so long, but this has been an exciting area of spiritual development and application for us recently! Thanks for tackling it on your blog.
~ Betsy
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There’s multiple groups of women in our churches today. There’s one set that dresses to impress– this can be dressing up in dresses that show off form, or wearing whatever is high fashion. There’s another that believes in dressing however they want– typically showing up in pajamas or jeans. Then there’s the ones that try to dress respectfully.
Group 1 thinks it’s ok because they are dressing up– after all, they aren’t the slobs. Yet their dress is as immodest as the ones that don’t care.
I’m not saying that there are not seekers and those that don’t know better– and we shouldn’t be judgmental.
If we’re going to follow Christian principle in this area we must model correct clothing and show those that are not the benefits of dressing modestly.